Baguettes, Cheap Wine and Valentine's Day in Paris!

Bonjour!

4:00am Friday February 12th. On par with my previous experiences with early morning travel departures, I was completely unable to fall asleep at any decent time the night before so I was forced awake after only an hour and a half of sleep in order to walk to the train station for our 5:43am departure to Paris! Despite being a little tired, realizing the fact that I was actually traveling to the famed ‘City of Lights’ held the energy equivalent of about 6 Red Bulls. After a quick high-speed rail ride underneath the English Channel, we (Mike, Cole, Jack and I) stepped out of our rail car in Harry Potter-esque fashion completely unable to believe where we now were. We also quickly realized that, between the 4 of us, we spoke a grand total of 8 French words and really had no idea what to do.

At this point we learned out first lesson about getting around in Paris – paying for the Metro is a complete waste of money. Cole originally informed us most people use one ticket for 2 people because the turnstiles and entry gates to get into the underground were easy to fit multiple people through. Given my terrible luck, I was reluctant to practice what we deemed the “Buddy System” originally but saving money took precedence. I also become much more comfortable with circumventing the system when I saw a man by 1 ticket for his family of 6, go through the entrance and then proceed to open the exit door so the rest of his family could walk through. Later in the trip, my fears were entirely removed when I watched a homeless man crawl through a 2x2 hole in a barrier to get into the Metro while 4 policemen were watching. He then proceeded to offer a cheerful ‘Bonjour’ to the squad and continue onward with his journey. After 4 days of traveling, I think it is safe to say that we all saved at least 20 Euro with the “Buddy System.”

We arrived at Melanie and Katie’s (study abroad students from UW in Paris) still relatively early in the morning excited to see some friendly faces, have some guidance on what to do to and that we didn’t have to pay for somewhere to stay. They almost instantly introduced us to the wonderful world of $2 bottles of wine and .90 Eurocent Baguettes dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette that would be the staples of our diet for the remaining 4 days. Although the weather was less than ideal and quite a bit colder than the London we left we couldn’t wait to get out and see the sights. Our first stop was the infinitely creepy Catacombs. In case you’re not familiar, the Catacombs are a series of abandoned mining tunnels that run under the streets of Paris where near 6 million people’s bones are arranged in ‘artistic’ patterns using the skulls to make crosses and hearts. I would highly advise a Wikipedia search or that anyone reading this take a look at my Facebook pictures to truly understand just how unspeakable and frightening that 2 mile walk was.

I was incredibly relieved to be above ground again as we set off on a lengthy walk towards Notre Dame and the Louvre. We quickly found out that walking around Paris is somewhat similar to using Stumble Upon on the internet; every time you turn a corner or look down a street you see something either incredible or famous. This first happened when we wandered into a large park and got our first sight of the Eiffel Tower silhouetted against the foggy horizon. Seeing the historic landmark for the first time made us all giddy with excitement. Personally, I really couldn’t believe it at the time and the entire experience would continue to be surreal for a few days. Our next ‘Stumble’ took us on a detour towards the Pantheon which we somehow neglected to see originally despite its towering stature and grandiose classical-inspired architecture. While walked from the Pantheon towards Notre Dame, I learned two very important lessons about Paris. Number 1 – the amount of PDA is overwhelming. Number 2 – gypsies are ruthless in their attempts to get tourists to give them spare change. At one point after Jack told her he didn’t have any extra change while he was conveniently eating a cheeseburger, she followed us across the street while yelling what I can only image were French obscenities or an ancient gypsy curse.

I won’t bore potential readers with constant descriptions of historical landmarks but I do think it is notable to elaborate on just how ridiculous it is to cross a street and all of a sudden be on the Seine River looking across its waters to the spires and stained glass windows of Notre Dame Cathedral. Places like that seemingly only exist in Disney movies or adventure epics starring Nicholas Cage and Tom Hanks so to actually be there was incredible. Often times, the 4 of us were speechless while we took endless photos of the landmarks we were viewing seemingly as a way to ensure that they were actually real. After Notre Dame, we all pointed westward and in our best attempt at copying Eurotrip we exclaimed “To the Louvre!” Unfortunately there was no robo-performer waiting to entertain us outside the large glass pyramid yet that may have been a good thing because we only had to que for 5 minutes to get in. Our first destination was, of course, the Mona Lisa. I have heard it really isn’t all that impressive before but after seeing it, I’d say that is sort of an understatement. Nonetheless, we all took pictures and continued to explore the museum which is really too big to properly describe in words. The glass pyramid which you often see is about 1/100th of the rest of the structure which stretches for many city blocks and is impossible to efficiently navigate. On our way out due to sheer exhaustion and other unknown reasons the four of us broke out into a spirited rendition of “All-Star” by Smashmouth singing it from start to finish and confusing the hell out of the various ethnic groups that overheard us.

I have never been much of a wine drinker but, much like my obsession with Keystone, at $2 a bottle we all gladly picked up a pair and proceeded to get properly hammered in true French style – something that became a nightly theme. Unable to completely remove ourselves from Midwest drinking culture, we played a bit of Gladiator to get things going followed by a few entertaining minutes on Chat Roulette before stumbling out onto the town. (I advise noone to go on Chat Roulette unless properly hammered; otherwise it is down-right creepy and awkward lol.) Ordering drunk food is so much harder in different languages. The series of pointing, laughter and chaos that went along with that were completely worth it once I got my first Nutella and banana crepe. OMG, probably the best thing ever! Anyways, the great thing about French wine is that it doesn’t have preservatives like its American counterparts and thus isn’t accompanied by the massive hangovers – much appreciated the next morning.

Unfortunately Paris got the Wisconsin bug on Saturday with about 30 degree temperatures and a mild mannered snowfall. According to Melanie and Katie it was the coldest day they have seen since they got there in January. I insisted it was my awful fortunes that accounted for this phenomenon. There was no chance that the 4 of us were going to let a little measly snow get in the way of our adventures, it just made them somewhat uncomfortable at times. It becomes rather hard to take pictures when your hands go numb after about a minute and beg to be back in your pockets. Fortunately for me I had brought my scarf and I felt right at home with the rest of the European crowds as we wandered to the Arc de Triomphe. Almost more amazing than the structure itself and the view of Paris from the top was the 8 lane round-about that circled it. There were no lane lines, no arrows, no instructions; cars just darted around facing every possible direction almost running into each other every fifteen sections. Clusterfuck seems to be the only word to accurately describe the madness. Going to the Eiffel Tower after that may have been the first time when I came to realize that I was in fact in Paris. Standing at the feet of that structure is an awe inspiring experience. I won’t go into much detail yet since we returned the following evening for one of the most incredible evenings of my life! Our drunken wanderings during the evening helped me to quantify why European people hold the stereotypes that they do of Americans. It is comical to see groups of people walking around bar districts all having a good time and enjoying themselves somewhat quietly and then to compare them to our group of 8 Americans who are yelling, dancing and singing ‘Pants on the Ground.’ We got a lot of dirty looks who just couldn’t appreciate the significance of ‘lookin’ like a fool with your hat turned sideways’ but we didn’t give a shit because we were having a great time. Honestly, overly drunk and loud is an American staple because it is fun as hell and you could care less what the surrounding world thinks.

Another hang-over free morning after two bottles of wine greeted us with the sun shining. We walked on down to the local Boulongerie (Bakery) and picked up some fresh, warm baguettes for breakfast and hopped the Metro entrance on our way to Sacre Couer or “The Church on the Hill.” Situated on the outskirts of the city on a hill (which required a hell of a climb to get to) the view of the city from the Cathedral is breathtaking. On top of the view, it was finally nice out and it was Valentine’s Day so all of the Parisian couples were happily making out on the steps of the plaza in front of Sacre Couer. Love was in the air! I was also delighted to find two robot performers doin’ their robo-things. Regrettably I could not work up the courage to battle with one. Following that experience, we took our time walking down the Seine on our way to meet up with the girls at the Eiffel that evening. In glorious fashion, they greeted us with 2 fresh baguettes and a few bottles of champagne to celebrate the holliday! Since we had some time to kill before dark, we went on an adventure to find the second Statue of Liberty made famous in National Treasurer 2 and per a request by Matthew Faster before I left. In the movie, Cage seems to look at the statue right next to the Eiffel Tower. In reality, the statue is like two miles away on a secluded little island where homeless people tent out and everything is in really shitty condition – goes to show you how much the French like Americans. Cole and Jack made sure to make an improvisational version of the ‘America, Fuck Yeah’ scene from Team America before we left haha!

As the sun set and darkness blanketed the city, we made our way to an island with a better view of the Tower to wait for it to light up and enjoy our champagne. Popping bottles into the Seine and eating baguettes with the glorious golden Eiffel Tower in the background was an experience unlike any other I’ve had before. Being able to drink in public places is really wonderful. On the same island there was an American couple who were visiting from London for a romantic V-Day evening. Our loudness and fervent picture taking probably ruined their evening and may or may not have pushed back the guy’s proposal to his beautiful girlfriend but oh well haha. I was not aware that the tower is equipped with a plethora of bright flashing white lights that go into a frenzy every hour on the hour to make the entire structure appear as if it is shimmering or sparkling in the night sky. It is really impossible to really quantify into words and I suggest everyone to YouTube it or at least look at some pictures. A few bottles of bubbly later we made the trek towards the tower to queue for the journey to the top of the tower. It was a bit freezing after standing there for an hour but when we made it to the second deck and, finally, the top it was the most picturesque view of anything I have ever seen. The shoreline of the Seine and all of the landmarks shone brightly against the night sky on the clear and brisk evening. Again, words really fail to properly describe the view and everyone should really check out my pictures. The entire experience was nothing short of jaw-dropping. Epic.

On Monday I met up with Darcy and her friend Abby as well as Noah in the evening because the three of them were just getting into Paris to spend their week off. It is really a ridiculous concept to get a phone call from a friend in a foreign city and go about meeting up with them especially considering how hard it is to get together in Madison some times. We enjoyed dinner and returned to Melanie and Katie’s place a little behind on the pre-game festivities. At about 11:45 we decided to hope on the Metro and go to Moulin Rouge to take some pictures even though the Metro closes at 12:30 and if we got stuck, it would take well over an hour to walk back home…sometimes you just have to ‘live dangerously’ haha! We knew it was going to be a fun experience when a French guy listening to ‘Run this Town’ accidentally unplugged his headphones and our entire metro car broke out into song to the vast confusion of many of the other commuters. At Moulin Rouge we had one of the most ridiculous picture taking extravaganzas ever and somehow managed to sprint back down to the Metro and catch it home before closing time! The tipsy walk home encapsulated all of our memories of the weekend and again was a perfect example of a group of rowdy Americans yelling, singing and having a great time at 1am. Probably didn’t make too many locals very happy but let me tell you, I won’t forget my Valentine’s Day in Paris anytime soon!

I actually have to write a few essays in the next 4 or 5 days so this weekend is going to be pretty chilled out but I meet up with Brandon Cibulka in Amsterdam next Thursday for another 4 day weekend filled with festivities…I can’t wait! In the meantime I am going to enjoy the proper blizzard we are currently getting and I hope everyone is doing really well! Stay in touch :)

Cheers,
Patrick