"Oy, it's the Queen Lads!" - My Weekend in London

In the blockbuster hit Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z off of his Blueprint 3 album, Alicia Keys draws deep within herself to belt out a description of New York with a gospel power similar to that of Aretha Franklin. The strength of her voice leaves no question to the listener as to the validity of the lyrics - "the streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you, now you're in New York". Simply replacing New York with London would, no doubt, throw off the lyrical flow of the refrain itself but after only one weekend exploring the cobblestone streets of the great English city, I insist that the rest of Keys' description is unfaltering. In less than 72 hours I fell in love with a city. The speed of my acquired affair can only be bested by the haste in which I fell in love with Emma Watson after the Yule Ball scene in the fifth movie installment of the Harry Potter series, and my complete infatuation with Megan Fox after she graced the cover of GQ last year. In other words, I am usually not so quick to jump to such rash conclusions. From the moment I arrived, my jaw hung open as I aimlessly explored a city 1000 years superior to any potential American rivals. The worlds of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Shakespeare, and Dickens came alive in my head and juxtaposed themselves with an eloquent sense of modernity. I suppose that the great functionalist architects of New York and Chicago's past would criticize the intricacies of English buildings as unnecessary costs yet, it is exactly what they criticize that makes the city grand. There is a general absence of clean lines like our ideas of a skyscraper. Exquisite details replace 70 story glass columns. The new pays special attention to integrating itself with the old so that one's eye flows unimpaired across the skyline, never wondering why a building occupies its specific place. Unlike any place I have ever been, every structure, green space or pub overflows with historical and cultural significance. Great deals of things were constructed before America ever thought about declaring independence in 1776. Confirming Keys' lyrics, the streets really do inspire you, make you feel brand new.

Poetics aside, let me divulge a bit into what I actually did when I was there because, like always, I think some of you will delight in my shortcomings and interactions. Upon arrival I set out from Victoria station with my map in hand and traditional hiking backpack. I think it's safe to say that I pretty much epitomized a tourist. I started on my journey wandering past Westminster Cathedral, Westminster Abby, Big Ben, and the Houses of Parliament, each building just a bit more spectacular than the next. Originally I hesitated at taking pictures because I felt slightly embarrassed of my non-local status but I quickly realized that there were many more people doing exactly the same thing. After I noticed that tour groups around me were in at least 4 different languages I felt much more comfortable. A slight rain started to fall marking the end of my picture taking palooza so I set off east towards Trafalgar Square. The proverbial 'Seat of Imperialism' was the first of many places which made me appreciate the English use of public spaces to bring people together and beautify the city. After making sure to snap photos of the giant monolith and remarkably cool oversized ceramic lions I headed through the square to the England's National Gallery. I'm not exactly an art history buff but the gallery captivated me for well over an hour - Monet, Da Vinci, Raphael, Rembrandt, Manet, Pissarro, Seurat, Van Gogh. Primary evidence of the evolution of artistic technique and societal progress hung in the multi-roomed building providing better instruction than one could ever hope to receive from a book.

Without a phone call from my friends Mike and Cole to meet them in Piccadilly Circus, there is a good chance I may have wasted the rest of the day looking at paintings. I strapped on my backpack and wandered to London's much cleaner and debatably cooler version of Times Square. It was good to see some familiar Americans and gain a few partners in crime to wander the streets when I met up with Cole and Mike. After deciding a random direction to start our exploration, we were quickly confronted by a few people giving out fliers for attractions. The first, an Indian man attempting to lure us to Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum. Needless to say, we were less than interested. The second, a cute girl dressed like an Eskimo in a neon yellow traffic coat. We nodded politely, took her flier and then moved on to her great discontent. She insisted that we come back and talk to her which we did - for 45 minutes! Turns out she was a model (truthfully, she made us Facebook her and 'wow' is about all I can say) who spent the last year in Hollywood and just returned to London. She told us that she was picking up her friends shift handing out fliers and could not stand the cold, hence why she looked like an Eskimo. She also gave us a bit of advice on some shows to see, places to go among other things. In what seemed like an instant, we wasted a good part of the day but then exchanged names and numbers and went our separate ways. The first number I got in London came from a swimsuit and lingere model named Lauren! Unfortunately I can't help but assume that it can only be downhill from here.

Fueled by the giddiness of our good fortunes we continued to explore the city and take pictures of anything and everything that seemed notable. Crossing the street by what we later figured out was the entry gate to the two mile long road that leads to Buckingham Palace we nearly got hit by a pair of motorcycles with blaring police sirens. I'm not entirely sure how we missed them to be honest, they weren't exactly discrete. Following the cycles came 3 BMW cop cards, an unmarked Range Rover, and then 3 more BMWs. Noting our complete confusion about the ensuing commotion a man leaned out the window of his Mercedes and yelled to us (obviously tourists) "Oy, it’s the Queen lads!" We all looked at each other in amazement. In London for less than a day and we practically shook hands with the Queen! Or better yet, her motorcade almost killed us: would have been an admirable way to go. The day's proceedings ended with a look at Wellington Arch and Buckingham Palace (see Facebook for picture references).

Friday night in London is something to behold. When picking out my clothes for the weekend, I thought that I chose something that was stylish yet comfortable enough to hang out in for a few days. Holy shit was I wrong. Never have I felt like a bigger scrub amongst groups of people. Everyone's clothes, both men and women, are fitted, high fashion and just put together better. My simple tan coat also cast me as an outcast for its lack of buttons, straps and fine details. People watching as I walked around was somewhat like taking an entire class in modern fashion. For our evening we headed to a pub for a few pints before deciding to head to Fabric which is supposed to be one of London's premier nightclubs. It was slightly like the scene at the Louvre from Eurotrip when we arrived and realized that the que started at the door, went down the street, and then wrapped around the block for some distance. Slightly discouraged we walked back there to try to figure out where to stand while also debating whether or not to stay. While Mike and Cole got in line, I went to talk to someone at a nearby cafe to see if there was any other less busy option close by. Fifteen minutes later I returned to Mike and Cole at the front of the line accompanied by two random girls who apparently had guest passes attached to their VIP tickets. Just my luck. The girls told me to just jump the small movable barricade and get in line with them. Naturally, I waited until the bouncers turned around and jumped! Immensely poor decision. The gate swung out a bit when I put pressure on it to jump and I ungracefully stumbled over it making a racket and ending up on my hands and knees on the other side. Before I could get up a bouncer grabbed me by the arm and coat and threw me back on the other side with a considerable amount of force. He then proceeded to grab me by the collar and told me that he would break my legs if I tried again (no joke). I probably would've pissed myself if I didn't go when we left the pub. I hope everyone takes my stupidity as a lesson of what not to do at a globally acclaimed club. Just wait in line, or if you do decide to jump...don't be incredibly uncoordinated in the process. Another lesson learned from that night: never eat from a place called 'Perfect Chicken.' The chicken is far from perfect; no matter how drunk you think you are your stomach will not thank you.

Ten hours and a few laughs about how dumb I am later, it was time for day 2 of my London adventure. We all got some lunch at a Thai Pub (apparently they exist?) and then headed off to do some more exploring. Our first stop was St. Paul's Cathedral. I think the massive dome was the most spectacular structure I have ever seen in person. It’s sort of like the Capital building in Madison in some respects, except about 100x more intricate and 20x the size. After saying that, I guess it really isn't like the Capital at all minus the dome and a few columns. Our journey took us across the heralded Millennium Bridge (the one that gets destroyed in the beginning of the 6th Harry Potter film) to the South Bank of the River Thames. After passing the replica of Shakespeare's Globe Theater we winded through a series of allies that brought us all a fantastical feeling that we were traveling through Medieval London. For me personally, the scenery infused me with a childlike sense of adventure. For a moment it was as if Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter actually revolved around real events. However, the nerdy fantasies quickly wore away and we headed over to the Tower Bridge (commonly thought to be the London Bridge). Due to some engineering work on the tube (London Underground) we zipped off to King's Cross Station in search of the infamous platform 9 and 3/4! Finding it was altogether disappointing since they moved it due to construction. They short of shoved it in a corner by a security gate and it really isn't anywhere near the other platforms or the train tracks. Nonetheless we took some creative pictures, one of which has made its way to my Facebook profile picture, and started our walk home to get ready for the evening.

I met up with Noah that night because I hadn't yet seen him during the weekend and we took a stroll from Oxford Circus to the South Bank by the London Eye and then over back towards Big Ben. Most of the things I saw on Friday were like completely different entities when lit up in the darkness and I remember being rather angry I forgot my camera. Still being American at heart, we decided to go to the Sports Cafe at Piccadilly Circus to watch the Cardinals vs. Saints game because it was probably the only bar to give it any sort of coverage. Noah and I shared a pitcher before he took off leaving me with an hour or so to spare before Mike and Cole met up with me. In boredom, I struck up a conversation with a middle aged man standing next to me at the bar. Truth be told, I had a lot of curiosity towards why any English folk follow American football. Turns out he fervently followed the Redskins and had been going to games in D.C. for over 20 years. We shot the shit about the hiring of Mike Shannahan, Brett Favre and other contemporary football issues before moving to a slightly more varied list of topics. He explained Cricket to me, I asked about the significance of the Queen in British politics and public sentiment on Gordon Brown. He asked me how I felt about Obama, universal health care. Over the course of an hour or so he bought me about 6 pints before we parted ways, never exchanging names. Twice in two days I shared hour long conversations with complete strangers and enjoyed the hell out of it. I just feel like it’s hard to have those kind of interactions in America and they really are priceless memories. The remainder of the evening flew by in a drunken stupor and we all matriculated the 2 miles home at about 4am.

Having to come back to campus on Sunday was a bit of a buzz kill yet there is solace in the idea that it only cost me 6 quid round trip to get there and there is an extra bed in Mike and Cole's place. I will absolutely be back ASAP. There is still so much to do and see. Who knows, maybe I will actually get into a club without having my life threatened!

Happy first day of school everyone and, like always, keep in touch and leave some comments :). I'll write again when I have some cool things to report!